A good friend of mine has fallen victim to cyberstalking, which admittedly I didn’t realise until randomly checking out a username to see they’d done dozens of searches for their name to reach my blog. There are legal rights and protections in place for anyone in this position to be able to safeguard themselves, and it’s important to realise that. Cyberstalking is particularly worrysome when someone knows far much more about you than you know about them, and it’s sensible to take a few precautions about your online safety to avoid real life stress.
Landsend Korobase has kindly researched the matter for me from a legal standpoint, and is an article definitely worth reading.
Additionally, I covered Meta-stalking some months back, and it’s worth reading through just to know how to protect yourself.
Some people may sneer at the thought of being stalked via a virtual world, but it is something which can easily get out of control.
Bailey Longcloth on July 10, 2009
Cyberstalking is just as serious and just as real as RL stalking. It’s both terrifying and frustrating. I know, I’ve been there.
If your being stalked, or think you are, talk to someone. Don’t just think they’ll go away.
Emerald Wynn on July 10, 2009
I have a lot to say on this topic, but I’m not going to say it in public. *looks paranoid*
When I started writing a blog, I didn’t realize people would even read it, let alone read it and . . . well, develop a really uncomfortable (for me) air of familiarity and sort of take it to extremes or try to cross boundaries into RL. That’s all I’m saying.
I put the people who POUNCE with IMs before I can even finish logging on right up there with stalkers sometimes. And, yes, the people who aren’t my friends but start an IM with “I know you’re online right now because I checked the XXXX group.”
I refuse to hide my groups or give up my picks because of a few jerks though. I REFUSE!
*throws candy around and runs off*
Withheld on July 10, 2009
Prad thanks for this article. I don’t equate the pounce on IMs on log in in the same bracket as stalking in answer to Emerald’s post. It’s annoying but wouldn’t scare me (unless of course in the same vein of the stalking format e.g. various alts and specific threats).
I have been stalked (hence why not using my user name here) for about 7 months now. It started from Second Life and has carried into RL. The Second Life part at first I took as a mild annoyance and just put it down to a rather strange person but when the RL searching and other things I cannot post here started it became a very RL worry for me. I don’t have a blog myself and tend to keep my SL work very directed and not particularly personal.
The overall feeling of emotional helplessness and isolation builds up. Having to explain what is happening so IP addresses can be blocked, emails filtered and pre reviewed through to knowing they have your home address and what will they do with it. I found it incredibly difficult to tell people because by talking about it and how it is a constant cloud over your life, I thought would make it worse when you do everything to try and ignore it.
I barely log on to my avatar on Second Life these days, and when I do it’s purely for quick work purposes.
I made light of it at first trying to not give it credibility to not read anything on Twitter/Google/any blog where the individual may direct comments to. To wind down my Second Life avatar usage and use only for work that was urgent.
Safe to say in my case this is not the end of the story but no longer am I going to accept the situation and have finally started to tell people and also look at my options for help to stop this occuring.
So for anybody else in this situation, reach out for your friends and get support. Please don’t deal with it in silence.
Rae on July 10, 2009
Thank You! It still amazes me what I can learn, understand, be enlightened by, when I read the incredible messages of other SL’ers. Thank You!
To be Enlightened: Cyber Stalking « SL-ama Drama on July 10, 2009
[...] Hats off again to two other great SL bloggers whose blogs I so do enjoy reading. Please check out Cyberstalking by Prad Prathivi and Cyberstalking by Landsend [...]
Emerald Wynn on July 11, 2009
Oops, the pounce = stalker thing was sort of a joke. My apologies for joking on a blog about a serious topic. Seriously.
And now no one’s pouncing on me before I can finish logging on anymore.
Wow, the power of Prad’s blog.
Prad, can you find me a rich RL man and a job in real life too? Just type it into existence please.
My heart does go out to people who are tormented by twisted souls. I know a couple of people who really are in hell because certain people are infiltrating every aspect of their SL existence. And alts make it so much worse. You can ban and ban and mute and eject until the cows come home (hi, I’m from Iowa) but there will always be an alt waiting in the wings to take your stalker’s place.
It almost makes me wish SL would charge everyone for “residency.” I know saying something that outrageous is gonna make people gasp, but it really would cut down on the multiple-alt problem. If we all had to pay $20, $30, $40 even $100 (sorry I’m talking in U.S. bucks) for every avatar start-up, at least it might cut down a little on the alt problem.
Or maybe I’m the only one on SL who’s broke.
tyrrell on August 19, 2009
How can you possibly tell what another person is google searching??? Unless you work for their ISP, in which case it would seem there is another ethical issue at stake – clearly a breach of privacy from a privileged position – which I would have thought would have been a far more serious issue?
I don’t think it’s actually possible – you could prove it telling me what I’ve been googling today. =P
In anycase I’m not sure how doing a google search on someone could be construed as “cyberstalking”.
Cyberstalking raises interesting ethical issues – is a persons right to privacy violated when they put the information on the internet in the first place?
Surely the person who puts up all their dirty laundry (or whatever) on myspace, or facebook, bebo, twitter etc. are somewhat complicit. Don’t they “want” to be noticed.
I guess the warning should go out to people to be careful about cyberwhoring themselves – not that I am saying your friend did this, just trying to look at the other side of your claims. (which seem without any substance).
Unfortunately due to the global nature (cross national boundaries) of the internet, there actually isn’t any legal protection against someone “googling” your name dozens of times a day. Best protection you’ve got is keep your personal stuff to yourself.
Isn’t using technology or a privileged position to pry into peoples google browsing habits just as creepy as cyberstalking itself?
Just my thoughts.
Prad Prathivi on August 19, 2009
Wow – that’s some incredible naivety!
Pretty much nothing you do on the internet is really private – someone else will have access to that information. The owner of a host account and the webhost themselves can use default tools to see who has been visiting. Each time you log onto a website, it logs your IP address as well a wealth of related information which anyone who has a hosting account can access for their own site.
Also, you seem to be incredibly sure of yourself, despite that I never mentioned exactly what the search terms were that reached this site? For example, if they were using search terms to try and track a person down in real life, does that not constitute as something to be worried about? How about sending threatening emails to them?
And at what point did I say anything about cross-boundary searching – this case could well have been within the same country, in which case the police would investigate.It seems to me that you’re much closer to this sort of thing that you’re making out.. especially if you’re commenting on it weeks after publication.
And actually, if you are in a different country, then you can still take action – but I’ll let people talk to me directly if they want help with that.
tyrrell on August 20, 2009
Cool, ok. So you begin your reply by simply abusing me??
I only wondered how you could tell what someone else was googling, (please share) after all that’s what you said you could do. So, come on then, what have I been searching today… or yesterday.
I am not convinced you can actually do that. But, I am happy to be proven wrong. Note – I’ve now asked you twice.
By cross boundary, I meant cross national boundary. For example the US has no jurisdiction in my country. So, I could (theoretically, I say theoretically because I have no interest in doing so) “cyberstalk” (or metastalk) you (by googling you etc), or someone else, and it is extremely unlikely that the cops in the US could (or would) do anything about that. Although, I guess if it were considered serious (ie, life threatening) they possibly could get in touch with the police in my country.
I am doing a PhD in computer ethics, I stumbled across your blog – but you seem paranoid… (perhaps justifiably)
I was just contributing to the debate – I didn’t expect you to be so rude.
– also note, I have listed my real email address (as you require) I don’t however expect any trouble from you given you are preaching the evils of such behaviour. I trust that although you seem annoyed by my comments that you are a good enough person to respect this.
tyrrell on August 20, 2009
You do say this in your “about” box
” It doesn’t claim to be right or wrong, and it certainly doesn’t expect you to agree! ”
…so I thought it was ok to have a different point of view.
Perhaps you need to change that to reflect the way you reply to those with opposing views to yourself.
… just a thought.