A couple of months ago, I was contacted by somebody I knew nothing about, and somebody I still know very little about. But this person offered me a position writing on his blog –
That's me in blue. On arriving, I realised I was at least a foot taller than everybody else. When and how did that happen?
writing on a blog which, as it turned out, was about to be voted the most popular in Second Life. Just as I was feeling my writing feet, the person concerned decided he needed a hiatus (and some fish, apparently).
But hey – I still have access to this blog. So can get a word in edgewise while Prad’s not looking, and before he decides to take my logon off me.
Before finding out the fate of said blog, I’d just published a post which skirted around the issue of loneliness and friendships in Second Life. Prad has also published in his Hiatus post, about missing some people who have disappeared from in-world. It all felt a bit melancholic, to say the least.
Now, let me admit to something here. I’m almost double the real-life age of Mr Prathivi, and that term on this planet means I get to have some experiences (er, like giving birth, for instance) and with it, some applied wisdom – or not, as my legacy may well decide on looking back.
But when speaking to other people my age, we are relatively of the same opinion – as you get older, it gets harder to make new friends. The whole world seems against this in many ways – we lead largely commuter lives, driving to and fro our workplaces, moving to find jobs, leaving behind our old school friends and even family members. Life is busy, busy, busy…
Then we go and get married (and divorced, if statistics are anything to go by) but at least partnered up, and children come our way. Generally speaking. With those responsibilities, old friends drop by the wayside, normally due to distance, and we struggle to find like-minded people quickly enough to work out if we could be ‘friends’.
This week in Great Britain some new statistics came out suggesting each adult has on average only three good friends.
As an ex-pat kiwi now living in a tiny village in middle Britain, I feel it perhaps even more than many. Finding real life friends is difficult. Finding similarly thinking second life friends is just as hard, if not harder.
Last week I got an invite for a surprise birthday party in second life. I was originally a little scared to go, given I knew no-one there, aside from the guest of honour (a tiny bit). But I turned up anyway, thinking that I might finally witness something about second life which gives me hope for myself. I had read about Second Life weddings and parties and large groups of friends before, but here was my opportunity to see it with my own virtual eyes.
Prad has his birthday today, and I don’t know how many real life people will be celebrating along with him. But of his virtual life, there were many people on that dance floor, and my quick snapshot can’t give you all the details, despite my wide-screen monitor. As I left, more people were arriving, maybe just for half an hour, maybe longer. The guest list would have crashed a couple of SIMs over.
What this shot says is one thing, and one thing which gives me hope that maybe by my first rezday, there might be a couple of people out there who might like to just share some time with me also.
Prad is loved. He has true friends. Second Life transcends the friendship barriers put up in real life in so many ways, and I feel honoured to have been given the ability to witness this. I hope he doesn’t mind me sharing this photo with you (and if he does, it’s too late). My birthday gift to the man in question are these, my thoughts on what I did see there -from the perspective of someone who is often lonely, sometimes wise, and has celebrated her own birthdays worlds away from loved ones on many occasions.
Happy Birthday, Prad. Life is sometimes wonderful, is it not? Even second Life.
Bailey Longcloth on May 19, 2009
It was grand to see you at the party yesterday Pacific. I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to chat cause it was nice to put a face to the person writing here.
I agree it’s gotten much harder to make friends, good ones, as I’ve gotten older. If I look at my SL friends, most are nearly half my age and in many cases half a world away but they are my friends none the less. These are people who I stumbled across in secondlife and have simply stuck!
You are most welcome to come hang out at the Crown and Pearl anytime you like Pacific we’ll try not to scare you away
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Many hugs and much love to Prad on his Birthday. <3
Krissy Muggleston on May 19, 2009
Very well said, Pacific. A lovely tribute to Prad and a really insightful view of friendship that I quite agree with.
Anita61 Anatine on May 20, 2009
I’m an older person too (48 to be exact) and I share your experience about making new friends. The weird thing is, that after being in SL for 2 years it happens again.. Most of the peple on my friendslist that I call friend I met over a year ago. I do add people to my list but friendship is something else then just a name on a list.
I’m glad you still get to write on this blog, I always love reading it and I hope Prad will take up writing here again too in the future.
Miskat Qinan on May 20, 2009
Hey Pacific,
I doubt if you were the tallest one there… I am the dude right from you in the black suit… =P
Anyways… we were in a similar position there, I hardly knew anyone either but appreciate and respect Prad as a person, so thought it be good and fun to show my face.
And it is good to see that people have these networks of genuine people who maybe aren’t all the best of friends, but appreciate each other and show that every now and than.
After almost 2 years of SL I feel I have a network there like that as well… and with my friends in FL they are the people important too me in RL.
And I value that very much and hope we all have those few showing us that they care about us. As I think we need it.
That’s something I learned once I got those people in my life.
Shelly on May 27, 2009
Yay Kiwi’s, I’m a kiwi girl myself. I make friends easily but, as I get older I have less friends. The reason for this is, every now an then I have a bit of a culling, I find others or my own ideals change as my life changes. I find myself not really wanting certain people in my life anymore. I believe as you get older the quality of friendship supersedes the quantity and we learn the difference between friendships and acquaintances