The Adult Content Policy – ahhhhhh. I wouldn’t normally state anything here, because I’m relatively happy with the state of play in Second Life as it stands. But as the debate rages on

Hiding those rude bits

elsewhere on Jiras and blogs, and I’ve been told Linden Labs doesn’t really listen to it’s citizens very well, then as a relative newbie to all this, I’ve found myself embroiled quite quickly in the commotion.

Just as a bit of background – the Adult Content statement was released out to the world on the weekend I had just convinced my partner to come in-world, and partake of the joys of some adult content of our own. As stated before, Second Life has really spiced up our own sex lives, and it’s also allowed me to meet a lot of interesting people who can live a life in second life they can not within their real lives, for whatever personal and political reasons.

I live close to neighbours who are lesbians – in real life, but one is trans-gender, wanting to be a male in body as well as soul. He dresses as a male in second life, and in all intents and purposes, that’s how I think of him. And how he acts. I’ve just discovered the rather attractive woman I’m a friend of is a cross-dressing male in real life also. Both people, when telling me these facts, even in IMs, seemed to be testing my reaction. Which tells me that sometimes they get a less than nice reaction from others. Which surprises, and saddens me immensely, especially in a metaverse such as second life, built on freedom of expression.

I recently was accosted by a newbie male avatar in an undersea animal shop, of all places, demanding sex from me – without even a ‘how are you?’ beforehand. That story is shared with many other female avatars out there, of course. It’s almost like a female avatar’s birthright to be accosted like that. And then there’s the female avatar who befriended me, only to send me IM messages directing a bi-sexual relationship (what can I say – I’m a red-head, and big blondes seem to be attracted to me, giggle). Sex, in Second Life, is something that some people have a great expectation of. Second Life has a reputation for it.

For the people in my first example, their gender and sexual preferences are a very personal thing, and I thank them for sharing this with me. I feel honoured that they might tell me this, so that I can get to know something of them, and have an understanding of their own conflicts within both their lives. Because that means something.

But the other people – the accosters and demanders, those are people who I have little time for, because they are not adding anything of value to my own second life. And I don’t actually know anything about them. What gender they are in real life, is amongst that missing knowledge.

Does it matter? Nope. But it might if I were to get into an intense relationship with them. As would the fact that they are married in real life, or maybe in prison, or…whatever. Because I don’t believe you can build much of a real relationship – even virtually – without some honesty upfront. Only what is necessary, but enough to form some faith that the person isn’t going to surprise you at a later date.

There are tales of marriages and relationships going wrong in Second Life, where a gender of an avatar, or their external relationships, have been portrayed wrongly within this virtual world. Sometimes wrongly, in that nobody asked. Silence, perhaps, is not always necessarily golden.

There are some lesbians hurt by males pretending to be females, and there are similar stories going on with many other sexual aspects. On the other hand, I see so many personal profiles now, where a partner is listed, and photographs of that avatar are scattered through a person’s picks, with adorable poems and love-letters. Second Life can be extra-ordinarily sexual or overtly more romantic than the mundane of real life.

That’s what I believe second life is about – the freedom to live a life as you please. However, it comes with some caveats which others may be less willing to recognise. With freedom comes responsibility. Freedom of self also necessitates some thought towards others.

But that’s not what the Adult Content policy is about, is it? Or is it?

And although I initially thought little of it, lately I’ve been reconsidering my own thoughts on this, as I’ve sought some of that romantic or adult content myself, yet also had to rid myself of aspects of it in many situations – where I shouldn’t have had to.

Picture this. I’m an adult. I search for a romantic adult-centred park for a romantic date. And there are many, as we know. I’m thinking the Lost Gardens of Apollo, Aroha Tahi, Tempura Island (leave a comment with others I’ve missed, please). Nice romantic places to go to sit out there with a loved one, dance, chat or kiss. But many of these places also have sexual pose balls, hidden areas for all forms of sex, including some BDSM components also. If they are given a mature rating (as they should be) for this content, then I may well miss them by in my search for a romantic setting.

I was first introduced to Tempura Island via, of all things, a story quest. I, and several hundred other writers, teleported in over the course of a day, searching for a book clue, and used the island as a setting for our story in progress. Once I’d admired all the lighting and beauty of the island, I finally found the book I was looking for, and settled down on a mushroom seat overlooking a waterfall to finish writing my story. I didn’t realise that through the waterfall there was a hidden cave with a sex-rug and bed, and that close-by, some avatars were using it. In fact, that information was neither here or there to the reason I was on Tempura, and enjoying it. But if given a mature rating, my discovery of Tempura may well have been postponed.

My own thinking originally was completely the opposite. On the weekend the Adult Content policy was first introduced to the world, I was not only pursuing some adult content of my own, but I was also spending time (these are different time periods!) with my daughter. My daughter is six years old, and inquisitive, and completely enamoured with second life as an entity. What six year old wouldn’t be?

But, unless I stop her from peering over my shoulder – in broad daylight, mind you, as I walk around the zoos and shopping malls of second life, then we inevitably get to an impasse when she keeps asking me why all the women are wearing only their underwear in public, or what that couple over there are doing? Or why that man came up to me and suggested something that she’s not so certain about, but can certainly read in the public chat bar? Or why, when I’m on a large public treasure hunt across shopping SIMs, I receive a group notification informing the searchers that nudity is not an option when shopping. Or why, when I’m trying to buy a simple coffee table in a furniture shop, there is a device over in the corner that looks like it could really hurt people, mummy… Ah, the conversations we’ve had. And the (white) lies I’ve told.

Now, you’re going to tell me – that it’s my parental responsibility to make sure my daughter isn’t able to see that kind of thing going on. But that stops her from having the pleasure of seeing my avatar explore the many wonderful SIMs setup as adventure parks, cartoon places, zoos or historical places. My girl would profit from being able to view the Eiffel Tower, or King Tut’s Tomb, viewing alongside of me, and I am not suggesting that children should be allowed into the adult world that is Second Life. But they do see it.  At the moment, she’s not seeing it, because I can’t guarantee she won’t see more than both of us are willing to see. But what a shame for her, missing out on places like that.

Now, we live in a so-called progressive society (debatable in itself). Here in the U.K., my daughter can simply open up to page three on a few public newspapers and ask me some of the same questions. We can walk into a local diary or corner shop, and be entranced by the blatantly sexual images on anything from top-shelf magazines to advertising posters for dish-washing liquid. But if I were to take her on an expensive trip to Egypt to see some tombs, I would not expect to have to also negotiate around a male coming up to me and offering money for me as an escort.

I should also have the freedom and confidence within Second Life  to be able to allow her to look over my shoulder on occasion, and enjoy those PG places I select so carefully to share with her. Currently, due to the lack of any real thinking towards the reality of who might be watching public places, some avatars choose to take that freedom away from my daughter and this parent.

So, despite my own large reservations and skepticism about the new adult content policies, keywords etc being rolled out upon us, perhaps there is a little room for some reminders to a few (and it is, like anything, only a very small minority) of the adults who are in here. There are certain places for certain content, and if we were all thoughtful to all the eyes that might be on a computer monitor in public places, perhaps something like the Adult Content policy wouldn’t be as necessary as Linden Labs (and many other institutions, governments, and websites) think it is.

Now, I’m going off on that treasure hunt again, and promise I won’t be doing it nude this time (joking!).

Photo Attribution : Beetle Photo by micro.cosmic on Flikr.