When I first started out in Second Life, I pretty much kept myself to a nice little Brit hangout called The Three Lions Pub. I simply just socialised like it was a chatroom and never dreamed of doing anything like opening Photoshop or rezzing a prim.
After a while, I was informed that you could buy “skins” to replace the default avatar skin – I found the idea of being able to replace your skin with a new one to be a rather odd concept, but nevertheless I thought I’d go to a skin store and “upgrade” my skin.
Being a newbie, I had little idea what I was doing, and just a male skin which looked about right and bought it. Ignoring the clearly signed demo, I found that I’d wasted Lindens on a skin which was too dark for my desires. However, being in a huge store with hundreds of products, I was a little overwhelmed at the amount of work the designer must have done.
I looked up the profile of the designer – someone called sachi Vixen – and saw that they’d been in Second Life for a lot longer than me, and figured that they must be very busy and had no time to chat to little ol’ me, and the 40 pence I’d just spent in her store.
So I wrote it off, because I thought a hotshot designer would have no desire chatting to a newbie.
Funny to fast forward a couple of years, where now sachi’s a good friend.
Speaking to a lot of designers, there does seem to be something of a “class system”. Now I use that term very loosely – I’m not implying that this is a system of elitism, but rather that there is a sense that such people aren’t as approachable as most SL residents.
But speaking to many top designers/bloggers/builders, etc I saw a similar pattern emerging.
They kept saying that once their trades became popular, the number of (social) messages they got plummeted. It’s as if so many people perceive these residents to be very busy that they don’t bother to send messages to them.
But at the end of it, they’re just another face looking into the computer screen, watching the SL sky roll on by.
Ziggy Quirk on April 29, 2009
Back in my early days, one simply did NOT IM the big names. The day I got a certain designer I adored offering me friendship I about asploded. Funny isn’t it, that the someone behind the name might be just as nice and chatty and fun as anyone else, but you tend to think they’re not because they’re big, popular and “already have enough friends” haha.
Maryna Wind on April 29, 2009
I guess we make our profiles looks busy. It is true in the beginning big names seem very important. I am not scared to IM someone, I am over it. However, even now I don’t really want to bother people, especially content creators, because I know they might be busy aligning that tiny prim and considering SL build tools it can take hours, or they might be afk photoshopping or something like it. Of course it depends how close you are to that person. With my friends it seems I never stop chatting, voicing, emailing.
I do talk to newbies (not that I go to welcome areas or so) but I don’t ignore them. One of the “newbies” is my friend now, and by saying “friend” I mean not just he is on my list, but active communication every day.
I guess I need to change my profile and make it look less busy, maybe then more people will IM spontaneously without “business questions” but just to say “hi”
Lewis Luminos on April 29, 2009
I was at a party once for a bunch of folks from the SL Universe forums. One of the people there was Munchflower Zaius. Now my daughter plays SL too (and yes she is old enough before you ask) and she peeked over my shoulder and was commenting on the people. Then she saw Munchflower’s name and said “Is that Munchflower from Nomine?” I said yes, and her face went like this: 0.0
I’m also friendly with (to the point that I don’t have any concerns about dropping them a friendly IM) two well known hair designers. Doesn’t take much to figure out who one of them is, seeing as I’m dating the store’s Customer Service rep.
Tary Allen on April 29, 2009
One thing I found out over time, is that most of the content creators are really nice people when you Im them. I only do that when, and if, I have a problem with something I bought, but I always (well there are 2 exceptions, needless to say that those stores are of my inventory)found they answer and try to help. Thats how I become friends of some of them, I needed help with stuff I bought, and they come to help.
There is a story I need to tell, never told in public before
. I has I guess around 2 weeks old in SL, and I decided I need a nice bikini, I searched, saw one that I loved and bought it. That time I didn’t had house or land and I used to change clothes undersea at NCI Beach, so I go there and start unpacking and trying. The bikini had also capris and a sweater as an emsenble, and it all come in all the layers. Boy, I was confused, I though something must be wrong. I Im’d the designer, and she was so sweet, explaining the layers and how could I use them to wear a tattoo, and combine with other clothes. I think I didn’t thank her as I should back them, so thank you very much Nicky Ree. You are a classy lady, and an awsome designer.
London Spengler on April 29, 2009
As a single product designer I am pretty unknown. It has its funny sides, like meeting somebody just yesterday and at the end of the night listening “Pandora Hud is yours! Oh, that’s so great!” :-p
So fame isn’t a problem, but I still got a lot less random IMs. Maybe I am growing old and it shows in the way I dress, in how my profile doesn’t invite everybody to talk with me (when it had the word “exploring” I used to get two IMs a day, typically naughty :-p), and also in the places I visit, where people is more reserved that the usual newbie hangouts.
I also think that we don’t socially address designers because we authomatically think they are busy; I used to send a praise when I truly liked an item, and I met some nice designers that way, but never felt like offering friendship; now I mostly publish a post if I don’t feel too lazy about it.
Same about bloggers; if we like what we read we may have friendly feelings, but we post comments instead of sending IMs, because it seems the proper thing to do. There is a kind of barrier, even if I doubt it is a class one.
Miskat Qinan on April 29, 2009
Prad, we are both part of the same designers group, I was asked to join it but hesitant at first. (also that big Prathivi dude being there, that builder with the huge name…)
Being a little builder and artist with not much of a name on the grid suddenly being thrown into this hole with all the big names, I was afraid the others would not take me serious and look down on me. That it was all about arrogance and ‘look how amazing we are’.
I joined nevertheless and found many new friends that way. And I found a big group of very down-to-earth designers who all have their own worries, as we all do.
I found a bunch of normal people, who happen to be inworld designers, but most of all just human.
Humans who need to socialize, who need to laugh, who need a hug and who need to vent frustration. Just like we all need.
Ryker Beck on April 29, 2009
No one ever IMs me. Ever. No seriously. Ever. I’ve asked a few of my close friends why, and even not so close friends, and I continuously get the same answer – “Because I just assume you’re always busy.”
o.o
Wth?
Okay, I won’t lie. Typically, if I’m in SL these days, I’m doing something… building, testing textures, decorating something, yada yada. But man… I miss the days of just sitting on my ass at the Crown with this great group of people that I hardly ever see or even get the chance to talk to anymore. Granted, even when I was at the Crown, I was usually doing something (like building or working in PS). But I was always surrounded by friends and could always join in conversation when I got the chance. When that crowd slowly spent less and less time online, or found other hang outs/means of killing time, I began spending more time in my skybox than anywhere else. And conversation with anyone just kind of… stopped.
It’s nice sometimes to be able to just concentrate on working when I really, really have to do it. But… sometimes I also wish people didn’t constantly assume I was busy. If nothing else, it’s always nice to hear the *ping*, or get a random hello from a friend you haven’t heard from in a while.
Mikolan Lutrova on April 29, 2009
I’m not a designer. I’m not a builder. I don’t even do textures. I bought a lovely house from Jordy Ishnoo @ Dolphin Designs, decorated with some wonderfully crafted furniture by Frasha Boa over at Abiss and Colleen Desmoulins @ The Loft which I purchased as well, and I regularly outfit myself in fashionable clothing from all over the grid. Point is, I don’t make anything, I buy everything. In doing so I’ve spoken with more creators and designers than I could possibly list. And because I’m so bloody picky, nit-picking every detail, stickin my nose in every corner to see what works and what doesn’t, I find myself constantly IM’ing or sending NC’s to these folks.
In doing that, I’ve learned one thing. All those builders and creators that make the objects and clothing we so dearly love are just as human as you and I. I’d guess 9 times out of 10, the msgs they receive from folks are complaints, issues, questions, etc. My suggestion to any that read this…stop for a moment, take a look again at that outfit you so dearly love or that chair that has that perfect touch to fit your SL home and remember the person that made that. Send them an IM or a NC just to say awesome job. Let them know you appreciate their work. Because like you all have been writing, as a designer gets “bigger” in the SL universe, their screens get filled with less and less friendly msgs. Who knows, you may be that person that brightens their day just when they need it most.
-Mik
Lizzie Lexington on April 29, 2009
I never have an issue sending a designer an IM. Now nine times out of ten its something related to a product but being the Chatty Cathy I am, I usually end up having a decent convo with them. I ended up partnering with one of these “designers”. LOL
Yoofaloof Pacer on April 29, 2009
I’m always interested in reading peoples profiles, especially the ones I’ve purchased items from. Reading some of them though you do start to wonder, why did I bother? Don’t do this, don’t say that etc, etc..
Imagine walking into a shop in RL and getting the same treatment.
There have been builds I’ve loved and thought I’m going to IM the builder and let them know how much I’m enjoying it, only to be put off by the arrogant , selfish profile.
Note to self…I should start to read the profiles first , just to gauge the sort of service I may receive.
I know a lot of us are busy, but surely it’s good to take a break every now and then and have a little chat.
I love getting IM’s, not that I get that many… ( waits for a torrent of them now…:) ) but when I do, I take the time to listen, help and hear what the person has to say. If it starts to go all awry, the ‘give me money’ type chat, then I just mute.
So come on builders , take a chill pill, rewrite your profile, relax and talk to the people once in a while who keep you doing what you do.
Ari Blackthorne on April 29, 2009
OH this is so true!
I have actually been told I am an SLebrity (pffft) and unapprochable and my reply is hell no. I’m just the average Joe-Schmoe like everyone else. I play with creating some prim-work, open a shop and keep my fingers crossed that enough people will buy my stuff that I can pay my land tier for the month! LOL
And yes, I remember those “big” SLebrity, all important names I was apprehensive to to IM or contact. They are big names, after all! They are high-society-place individuals! They are high-rollers, big-players, elbor-rubbers with other high-rollers for goodness sakes!
These days, meh. I’ll IM Philip Linden and “M” without a thought. They put their pants-on one leg at a time like I do.
There *are* still a couple names that are larger-than-life. You know, those really big names of the really popular people, I am puny in significance compared to them. I suppose I would be biting my nails in nervous anxiety before pressing the enter button in an IM to them.
London Spritzeranglerrrr and Prad Prathavitivierie and AFM radiosity and … hell. Just trying to mention those names gets me all tobgue-tied in a nervous wreck.
My hands are shaking.
Aribeth Coronet on April 29, 2009
I find this rather amusing, considering when it comes to IMing top designers about their products, I don’t have a problem or hesitate doing it.
But when it comes to fairly well-known designers in SL that are also my *friends* (I.E you and Ryker), I hardly IM you because I always think you’re busy 0.o
Now I’ve read this post, I really don’t see my logic at all LOL. So in other words, I’ll make more of an effort to IM you guys in the future
Kitty O'toole on April 29, 2009
Interesting point Prad…I’ve ALWAYS been nervous of IM’ing peeps full stop, especially the famous few of the metaverse. You do always assume that they’re going to be too busy etc..so perhaps I may just try to open a dialogue with some of the great and the good:)I was always bowled over by how gracious and fun Ryker was when I first encountered her, I knew who she was but didn’t really know what to say-you feel such a twat opening a dialogue with someone so talented..but the fact is she was, and of course is, an absolute gem.
I’m lucky to count a few infamous grid types amongst my friends, but the fact is it doesn’t matter who you are or what your name is-if you are a friend you are that for a reason, and not for what my being with you implies about my status. You’re a friend because you care, and I care about you, full stop. I’m naive enough to think that people don’t IM ‘slebs’ to attain status, but actually I expect that does happen…In my book I don’t care if you wipe your own bottom or if someone wipes it for you, we’re all the same regardless.
Big Hugs Prad!
xxxx
Landsend Korobase on April 29, 2009
For me this comes down to two things: Profile, and personal treatment / respect.
A lot of profiles can be quite off-putting and make the person sound very unapproachable (whether they’re famous or not). If someone’s main profile page talks all about when and why you are allowed to IM them and talks about how very busy they are, then it’s just good manners and common sense not to disturb them.
But I think it’s easy to overlook personal treatment too: I’ve had close friends who have found themselves propelled into fame or money-making in-world, who suddenly don’t have time for me anymore. Not because I’m “too small” for them, but because they’re just so busy. After a few IMs not being answered, a few invitations been turned down, you start to feel a bit rejected (it’s only natural), so obviously over-time you just stop IMing them at all. I’ve had the same people later complain “why don’t you IM me anymore, I’m still me, I miss you…!” So you start the friendship up again and same old thing – they get busy and you get ignored until it suits them again.
So I don’t think it’s quite so straight forward as “you’re too important and high class so I won’t IM you”. No doubt some people may think this way, but from my personal experience it’s more about the message people send out in their profiles, and the way they treat you.
Arwyn Quandry on April 29, 2009
I used to be kind of scared of SLebrities, never thought they would spare a moment to talk to me. I IM’d a big-name designer once with a question, and was terrified, even though she was very nice and helpful. Now I’m part of a rather intimate group that includes some of the biggest names in TSL fashion, and spend time just hanging around, chatting with them. Turns out, they’re normal people, just like everyone else When I was a newbie, I would have never, ever thought things would turn out the way they have.
Ivey Deschanel on April 29, 2009
I’m one of those designers that has “Please don’t contact me by IM” in my profile and I hope that people understand why. The main reason is because I don’t get my offline messages and my IMs cap every day. If someone just IM’s and doesn’t send a note, I will never know it. The second reason is because I’m often away from SL and working in PS and people that IM and are “ignored” for as much as 20 minutes, get very upset. That being said, I LOVE to talk to people. It’s so cool when someone who likes my stuff IMs and I’m online to catch it and talk to them. I think it’s the SL equivalent of giving an autograph. When they stop asking, that’s when I’ll worry. I do wish I had more time to spend with friends and just hang out and I do try to make time occasionally. It’s hard when SL is your full time job. When I’m in world I’m there to work and my relax time isn’t spent sitting in a chair at the PC. I still do weird out when people treat me differently or get excited to meet me. I’m still such a fan girl myself. The bad part is that I have met some designers I really admired that turned out to be not so friendly
My very fave quote from a good friend Azia Lunasea “LOL..yeah..I think it’s kind of humorous really..all the posturing and posing in a real life, OOC way. When the truth of the matter is; we’re all sitting in front of the computer in our jammy bottoms, our hair messed up and drinking half-cold coffee while pushing pixels around a plaything world.”
I think that sums it up. Class system pffft we’re all just geeks and some of us know how to make stuff. But I still get wiggly when I meet somebody famous.
Bluegum Lunasea on April 30, 2009
It’s refreshing to see some famous people saying that they would welcome random IM’s after reading more than a few rants (on designer’s own blogs) aimed at those annoying nobodies who dared to bother them when their profile so clearly says “don’t you dare bother me”.
So what does your profile say? ‘Talk to me’ or ‘ Leave me alone’?
Peter Stindberg on April 30, 2009
I talked to a lot of designers and was surprised to find that many of them say they live a rather lonely Second Life, having not many friends or contacts. I personally try to keep the balance, as I like communicating and spending time with friends and having fun too much.
Xero Ashton on April 30, 2009
I personally know of some models in SL who think they are famous and they have this stuck up attitude, I took modelling classes too and I know opportunity doesn’t land on us like that, we have to find them, be friendly to everyone is my principle as networking is very important to people like me who love to try new things.
So why make yourself unapproachable when there might be people who will help you along your way?
Guen on April 30, 2009
Oh gosh yes I’ve been on both sides of the ‘SL fandom’ thing with designing, blogging, and Djing.
I still remember running into my first designer and going completely gaga with fangirl excitement. Thankfully she was very generous and even let me add her to my friendlist. Still have her on my friendlist and talk with her on occasion just saying “Heya!” Just recently I got a personal IM from her saying thanks for buying one of her newer outfits.
Since then I’ve run into a few more designers and even added some of them to my FL since then. I still don’t bug them -too- often but they never have an issue when I do send a quick IM asking about something.
On the other end, I had someone a couple months ago finally figure out that Guen the designer = Guen the DJ and about fainted. Felt weird being idolized like that but then I realized how others feel and took it in stride.
I’m pretty open to talk with folks from both perspectives (tho I still get a little giddy when I run into someone whose work I love).
Charlotte Bartlett on May 2, 2009
This really got me thinking (bad Praddles). There are people I still to this day do not dare to IM and even feel bad sometimes when it is a work item.
I recently had to contact some *names* for some RFL projects and was pretty amazed how approachable and friendly everybody was. I have some of those names as good friends, some I still get that shy/nervous twinge before contacting.
I rarely get personal IMs, apart from my very long time friends. And that’s a kind of sad thing – the reason most of us joined this world was to discover and share interests/experiences.
I don’t know if people think I am busy or just don’t like/feel inclined to say hello. Although, I have been really lucky when I reach out to people I have made some good friends who are RL as well as SL.
We can spend a gazillon hours creating and being *busy* but if you forget how to enjoy the wider community of SL I wonder if you get too disconnected to remain in touch.
Just my boring thoughts haha!