As part of the ever growing service to inform and educate our readers on the ways of Second Life (and because the current SL Glossary is boring), allow me to present the Metaversally Speaking Guide to Second Life Lingo!
A
Abuse Report – A feature used mainly by mentors when any slight thing goes against their favour. This includes, but is not exclusive to:
- noobs who don’t know how to wear pants.
- anyone using more than three swear words in a line.
- anyone who is wearing the same dress as you.
Alt – This is short for “Alternative Account”, and is used by people who don’t want you to know their dirty, sordid secrets and carry such activities out under a different name. Usually, such activities include group sex, avatar mutilation, griefing using flying penii or having a pair of breasts to stare at whenever the need arises.
Asset Server – The Asset Server is a myth, tracable back to 2002 and believed to have been invented by Linden Lab as a way to excusing grid problems.
Avatar – An Avatar is a virtual reality replication of what you wished you looked like if you hadn’t eaten so many hamburgers and fried chicken meals during your twenties.
B
Ban – A Ban from a parcel/sim usually indicates that you did something you shouldn’t have, and you now have to beg the owner of the parcel/sim to regain access. Although an apology may work in your favour, you should not rule out bribes or sexual favours.
Bling – Bling is the single worst addition to the Second Life community and those who wear it proudly should be rounded up and shot.
Busy – Busy status indicates a person is too busy to talk to you. The normal response to this appears to be to have a one sided conversation, noticing after 20 minutes that the busy person isn’t responding and then getting angry at them.
C
Camping – A way for poor avatars to leech money of rich avatars while artificially boosting traffic on a parcel of land. Camping is often frowned upon as cheating, and residents with pitchforks chase down sim owners condoning such activities.
Clear Cache – Mentors and Linden Lab employees use the “Clear Cache and restart” when you have used up too much of their valuable time, and want you to go away and leave them alone.
Crash Logs – These are files sent by SL users after they crash out of the grid. A typical resident crashes up to 270 times a day, and are requested to send a crash log each time. These are then sent to San Francisco where they are printed out and used as fuel for the furnace.
D
Detach All – A button in Second Life which you can never find when you need it, but is the only button you can ever seem to click when you least want to.
DJ – A DJ is Second Life is nothing like a real life one as they rarely mix up tracks, and they tend to rely on tips. Good DJs are notable for being able to entertain a crowd and take requests. Bad DJs are notable for using excessive gestures and playing too much Britney.
Drama – The official currency of Second Life.
E
Eject – A nice and easy way to remove annoying people from your vicinity. Works well with the Ban function.
F
First Life – A scary place where sex is dangerous and can lead to serious consequences.
Freeze – A vital tool for anybody who wishes to debate in Second Life.
Friendship – Something offered to you by noobs who seek sex, money or a job. Usually all three.
Furry – Once seen across the grid, these mythical creatures are understood to have been frightened by open metaversal society and now inhabit their own furry-themed sims, away from danger.
G
Gestures – A way for a resident to say “I have nothing interesting to say.”
Grey Goo – An object which replicates itself across a sim. Such an example will include the forth-coming SRPs (Self-Replicating Prads).
Griefer – Someone who wasn’t loved by mommy enough as a child, and now has too much time on their hands.
H
Help Island – A place where newbies congregate to ask mentors for sex.
Hippos – Something which amuses employees of Linden Lab, but nobody else understands it.
Homestead – An LL technical term for “HA! We gotz ur monies now, bishes!”
I
Instant Message – A feature used by a resident to IM another person with “hello?” and then go offline.
Inventory – Akin to a rogue nation. Requires strict and aggressive control, or it will descend into chaos and cause you to cry.
L
Lag – About the only reliable thing in Second Life.
Linden Lab – The overlords who residents pray and worship in the vain hope of stability. When the number of people praying falls below 99% of the concurrency, the grid will develop “technical problems”.
Lucky Chair – An in-world chair which attracts a crowd of people to stand around it and stare ina zombie-like fashion. It is rumoured that the zombies become vicious when other zombies with a first name starting with the same letter steps within a 96m range.
M
Mainland – What happens when anarchy attempts to build a society. A vast space of oddly textured high-rise builds, ban lines and copious amounts of lag.
Mainlanders – The suffering.
Mega Prims – An unsupported feature of Second Life. Originally created due to an Linden Lab cock-up and spreading through the metaverse like wildfire, LL have realised they can’t control everything, and have let this one slide.
Mentors – The self-appointed educators of Second Life who accost unsuspecting newbies and scar them for life.
Mute – A way to finally get some peace and quiet.
Part 2 is coming soon!
Kellie Iwish on February 2, 2009
Never heard a better explanation of inventory. I lol’d >.<
Pixie on February 2, 2009
Hilarious.
Dem on February 2, 2009
“Drama – The official currency of Second Life.”
Classic…I love it…
Allias on February 2, 2009
I LOVE IT! Very entertaining and mostly right on the button.
Sascha Frangilli on February 2, 2009
Very funny, very well done and very true.
)
I put a link to this blog on my site.
Katoria on February 2, 2009
/me bows down to Prad’s comic genius
BTW I’m already working on writing a script to safeguard against the SRPs. The grid needs to be protected against such harsh Praddled destruction.
Whispers Magic on February 2, 2009
OMG! Thank you! I laughed so hard at the perfect descriptions here I caused my student to turn around and look at me. LOL
Natalya Homewood on February 2, 2009
Drama – The official currency of Second Life. <– love it!
Really funny, awesome post
Terry T on February 2, 2009
Ooo, oo, tack onto alt:
- Also used by roleplayers who can’t stick to one character or figure out how to involve their original character in a storyline.
Guen on February 2, 2009
LOL yep we all can relate to most of those.
Can’t wait for part 2!
Emerald Wynn on February 2, 2009
LAUGH! Can I do some?
X
Xcite: While these private parts are talking dirty to you during our steamy SLexual encounter, I am really watching “Lost” and eating tacos.
Z
Zyngo: Don’t you dare call it “online gambling” (even though I lost the equivalent of eight bucks last night at Gamma Games)
I just woke up. My game isn’t on right now. But damn, I wish I would’ve thought of this idea.
Sighs. And runs.
Fidella Faulds on February 2, 2009
Utterly brilliant!
MetaNews Daily - 1 | SLPN on February 3, 2009
[...] Moving Second Life from a Closed System to an Open Network Issue 15 of Prim Perfect is out! SL Glossary Part 1 30 things a newbie should know Last Chance to get an early discount on the Engage Expo Robin Linden [...]
Elizabeth Hallstrom on February 3, 2009
Ooh Prad, I take offense to the DJ remark, LOL. Come hang with me some weekend and I will expose you to a world of second life DJs you had no idea existed. And oh, a few well known european based DJs do have a decent presence in SL. FYI – these DJs rarely take requests, hahaha.
Elizabeth Hallstrom on February 3, 2009
nice typo *descent presence, I meant to say.
Elizabeth Hallstrom on February 3, 2009
uggh – decent or descent, hell if i know I can barely spell my name at times!
Kitty O'Toole on February 3, 2009
Love it! Especially the definition of an Avatar..never has anything so true been said!
Bloody show off:)) LOL
Kit x
Honour on February 3, 2009
It’s time for you to collect all these columns and publish them as a book – sell it on (whatever they’re calling) SLX. Thank you Prad, you regularly brighten my day.
Amara Parmelee on February 3, 2009
“Mentors – The self-appointed educators of Second Life who accost unsuspecting newbies and scar them for life.”
I take offense to that. We do not scar ALL of them! Just screen the crazies from the normal ones, and let them loose
Am still laughing over the Lag definition.
Can always, always trust you to bring a smile to my face
Aribeth Coronet on February 3, 2009
lol @ Hippo’s
Eve Petlyakov on February 6, 2009
That inventory bit…yes. I’m already there. It was like opening a closet I have been stuffing with crap for the last year and now that I’ve started moving things around it’s even worse
.
I nearly choked on my hot chocolate reading about the lucky chair. One of these days it’s going to end up coming out of my nose reading your blog. -_-
Harper Ganesvoort on April 23, 2009
Brillig! I especially like “drama” and “Linden Lab.” (I came to this from Part 2, which you linked to from Plurk.)