Okay – I’m pretty sick and tired of seeing the same comments and posts up in various places, all saying the same thing:
“Go outside, meet a real person, read a book, have a walk, live a REAL life!”
I mean, jeeez. Get over yourselves. This “real world” myth that people who use the internet are all socially dysfunctional is bizarre, and very wrong.
Second Life isn’t a game – it’s a metaverse. A virtual world. It has no final endgame, and it has no goals or missions. It’s simply what you make of it. It’s a form of entertainment – like watching television, or reading a book. It serves as a way for people to get a little enjoyment.
Except it’s more than that – SL grants us the power to express ourselves creatively. To create an income. To form relationships. To learn new skills. So it’s a more powerful form of entertainment than most.
In the real world, I’m a keen swimmer and water polo enthusiast and I enjoy my world away from Second Life. But “Real Life” consists of both the First and Second Lives – one doesn’t go away simply because you ignore it. If you choose to spend more time in Second Life than first, then so be it. It doesn’t make you any better or worse than anybody else.
People in Second Life are still people, albeit more anonymous. Yes – it is a fantasy world, but then what is wrong with that? All we seek in life is the chance to enjoy ourselves. We all make our choices, and we all reap the rewards, and suffer the consequences.
Second Life contains two basic essentials which make it a powerful medium that causes us to develop a strong emotional attachment to it – love and money. It’s this component that people in the real world (and heck, even the second one) don’t seem to understand.
Love and money is what fuels a society, and essentially breeds what is good and bad about the world. It causes the greatest of happiness, the depths of sadness, the heights of drama and the power of knowledge. As in the first life, those in Second Life are working in a society seeking these two bare essentials, and that is why people become attached to this metaverse.
Yes, you can seek both of these things in the real world too. And I agree that you should too, but it shouldn’t be overlooked that both love and money can transcend the virtual world and enter the first. The first life may dismiss those in the second as social outcasts and what haves, but many are simply living out their dreams and fantasies in ways the first won’t allow.
I’ve been on the grid when it’s been closed, and I’ve been one of a handful of people who have been “locked in” After griefing and looting, it becomes rather boring and you yearn for people to come back.
So, it’s really no different to the real life. The fact that so many people have the perception that people are using virtual worlds for sordid reasons simply affirms to me how misunderstood the metaverse is. As residents, we have no real link to the real world where we can showcase what we do, and demonstrate the true power of the metaverse.
So it boils down to the fact that the metaverse is a misunderstood phenomenon, and people who don’t use it fail to understand the true power of love and money. They don’t see how such things can be replicated in a virtual environment, but still feel as real and powerful.
So while we can go out and have a walk through the park, it doesn’t mean Second Life is any more or less important.
Yes, there’s an ‘Exit’ button.
No, that doesn’t mean it all goes away.
Trinity Dechou on December 26, 2008
Wonderful post Prad, as usual. I might in fact use it in arguements with friends who don’t ‘get’ SecondLife and feel the need to assure me it’s ‘only a game’.
These people don’t understand that the events in SecondLife change your real one. For those of us who have been changed, altered or affected by the happenings in second life, your words “Yes, there’s an ‘Exit’ button. No, that doesn’t mean it all goes away.” sum it up perfectly.
Meara D on December 26, 2008
Prad this was a great article. You said what I think many of us often wish we could say when faced with such criticisms and are unable to, either from lack of words, or lack of courage. Kudos to you, and thanks.
Prokofy on December 26, 2008
You’re not swimming *enough*. Do you have a good job? A girlfriend or wife? Kids? Responsibilities? A future? These questions need to be asked.
Prad Prathivi on December 26, 2008
Oh boy.. you.
Swimming is my job – and I do it for 4-5 hours a day during the season, and it pays reasonably well. And in my judgement, swimming for 4-5 hours a day is *enough*. I have no idea how you can make such a ludicrous statement when I never stated my training regime, but hey – that’s you all over.
Circumstances differ for different people – if you make a viable income in Second Life which supplements your first, why not invest time to maintain/increase that income? After all, Second Life has it’s own economy, and if you have the skills, you can make money.
Anyways, I await your usual personal attacks.
Danielle Harrop on December 26, 2008
Good words, Prad. Very true.
Bailey Longcloth on December 26, 2008
Very nice post Prad. As Meara said and many others have said before, you put into words what many of us are thinking. To some, SecondLife is a game and they rarely stick around for more than a week or month. For the rest of us though, it’s part of our first life. We come into this metaverse for love, friendship, to make some money and to do the things we’d never do in the real world.
Love and money are strong motivators be it in our first lives and our second. Life in either case is what you make of it. We make decisions and whether they are right or wrong that’s for each of us to decide, no one else.
Live life, first and second, be happy with the choices you make and harm none.
dandellion Kimban on December 26, 2008
I don’t pay any attention on all the “get a real life” sayings for a long while. They always come from people who never logged in, so what do they know. The small percent comes from people who came, haven’t got the point and left. They know even less. But, that’s not all. If you try talking to those people, you might see that so many of them actually have not much of the first life. They just think that something happening without the Internet as communication aid is “real”. But it’s not the tools that count.
JueL on December 26, 2008
Dear Mr Prad, how you always ROCK.
I couldn’t agree with you more, and I’m one of the people who never thought of it as a game in the first place, since Joining in 2004. Second Life is simply an extension of Real Life, and of course it IS real life, considering in my REAL LIFE I am actually performing
or actually creating on a virtual screen…what is going on behind the screen, behind my avatar (who very much represents my true self) is exactly what is going on in SL.
Performing the Live Tunes, just extending my voice into the grid…
I get tired of hearing the ‘game vs non game’ crap too, but ya know….a rose is still a rose, you can call SL anything you want, bottom line is…..it IS an extension of self for many of us.
As you speak of the Creative side….AMEN to that…as YOU are doing with your skills in building -which have always impressed the Pixels out of me-…to scripting, to those that display our art or perform our music, for those that make ANYTHING in SL..they also make lindens..meaning it’s a Rich Economy supporting each other.
RESPECT the SKILLS!
It’s been a long ongoing debate.
Game?
Meta verse?
Whatever you wanna call it, it’s what I do, it’s what many of us DO, because we Can, because we are skilled…or just because we want to explore the creative side, not to mention admire the creative side of those that Create amazing things in SL that we enjoy.
DO Love it! And for those that ‘just don’t understand it’…
SO be it! there are many GAMES out there they can choose from, but if you want to explore your RL Skills on a Virtual Grid where you can show off your RL skills…..Certainly SL is worth it!
I have met some of the most amazing people in RL, from SL…A LOT of skilled, beautiful talented Musicians and Artists.
Peace and Love to ya Prad!
-JueL <3
Shelby Rasmuson on December 26, 2008
I have always felt that “getting” Second Life requires a type of imagination that many people just don’t have. Being able to abstract oneself, or place oneself into a virtual
world means that you need to be able to think in terms which are not literal. Which is why creative thinkers are more able to move in this world successfully. After all, when one has hung out in all the clubs, shopping places and newbie places,one needs to find a more worthwhile way of spending ones time in SL. And that is where all the
creatives shine.
Marx Dudek on December 26, 2008
Thank you for writing this. This is something I’ve been wanting to touch upon for the longest time. I probably will, sometime, but for the time being I am going to direct people to this post.
I’ve been both the newbie who “didn’t get it” and the newbie who “got it”. “Getting it” was the rekindling spark to a stagnant imagination. I wish I could explain “it” to people, and I’m frustrated when I can’t.
Mo Hax on December 26, 2008
Preachin’ to the choir a little, but Amen brother.
Sigmund Leominster on December 26, 2008
‘Tis the season to be in synch, yes? My recent Op-Ed at the Second Life Herald (<a=href”http://foo.secondlifeherald.com/slh/2008/12/oped-get-a-life-any-ideas-which-one.html”Get a Life? Any Ideas Which One?) came as a result of reading yet another comment from a GAL – “Get A Lifer.” GALs are folks who trawl (or even troll) the Internet telling folks to “Get a Life,” but the volume of such posts suggests that these folks spend more time preaching about getting lives than Second Lifers actually spend in world!
Now if folks want to talk about getting some balance between SL and RL, that’s a legitimate discussion to be having. But the knee-jerk prattling of self-indulgent, egocentric, self-opinionated keyboard jockeys gets mildly irritating after a while.
/me takes a deep breath and makes a nice, hot cup of tea.
Pooky Amsterdam on December 26, 2008
We do not ask to be born into our first lives, by no stretch of the imagination is this truth. Some say we must return to Earth to fill a karmic destiny. Some just say it is fate or “god’s will” It could be biology, but we do not ask for this our First Life, we just don’t.
However we do choose our Second Lives and we do ask to be here to be a part of this sometimes brash, always colorful landscape of hopes & dreams, of plans & schemes of the novella written daily and the companionship offered and sought.
So this is not so much a Second Life as a Selected Life.
And why would we choose it? Perhaps because we are too much for our real lives. Too profoundly moved, too intelligent, too lonely, too shy, too intense. too talented & just TOO much for real life. I think that we are drawn to this world as we just have too much to offer in so many ways to the outside one. So we find both comfort and glory here. We log off, and deal with another set of priorities and agendas we aren’t setting ourselves all the time.
Maybe we can express ourselves more easily here, with greater meaning and even more rapidly too. You can know a lot of people in your life, but can you have 500 friends on your inworld console? Not likely. So the ability to touch others is also meaningful. And we do of course, in ways we wouldn’t have thought of before, That which we leave behind counts for so much, us humans leave tracks behind us. We leave carbon footprints, but we also leave each other images, words, music and hope. We leave all sorts- it is all about what we leave behind and how we also build, the nature of man to both build & destroy
We cant help it, we leave waste & dirty laundry- just not here. that could also be part of our inside worlds great charm.
Sometimes we see with our minds eye that which lightens our very journey, what we recall can impact us so. Haven’t you ever taken a dream with you all day? I saw a friend today and took a snapshot of him with my mind’s eye, it is no less a treasure for being of the mind. No less a treasure for making me smile, even to myself.
Sometimes what we take from 2ndLife is like a dream, And so this is an inside world, a laboratory that the outside world can not be due to its physical limitations among other things. When does the dream become reality, can it? Perhaps not, but what the dream leaves behind can also transform all life. And the dream is the ultimate inside world.
We must call the life we are born into a first life, it is the one we know for our beginning. Where we discover gravity of all kinds, magnetism too and of course each other. What if we feel more alive, more fulfilled on a site which allows us to build what we could only dream about before? What if we can use our mental energy to profoundly affect other people sitting at their seats all across the globe, here and more effectively here
We return to where we feel good, where we feel satisfied and we, as Father Richard Bartle says, “Play for the glory.” We choose this our Second or Selected Life as i like to call it. Be sure to make yours glorious.
http://www.pookymedia.com/
Prad Prathivi on December 26, 2008
There is a certain irony in that these people are writing blog entries and commenting on them telling us to “get a life”.. Dear, oh dear..
I guess I can’t be hypocritical though – that might be the kind of activity that rocks of socks off for these “GALs”.
Cassie84 on December 26, 2008
jesus.. i so agree ..
i had to explain that to so many people and i keep thinkin they’re thinkin i’m a freak lol
odd no?
well i also keep being realistic .. a lot of deviant people are in sl but heyyyyyy these people are deviant also in rl life so in parks in clubs that’s still the same people ..
a lot of my friends keep telling me ” ohh but u’re beautiful u dont need internet or sl to meet people ” as if it was linked .. i did meet so many interesting people in sl , as much as in my rl i wld say !
but i’m bored to explain it so now i tend to keep it for myself …dunno if it’s a solution yet
Mistletoe on December 26, 2008
As I’ve said to people before: I don’t just have a life, I have two.
Nimil on December 26, 2008
for me SL was a way to a real life… i have a rather harsh social disease in the real world which makes me hide in my room alot and really i never get to know people much in day to day life because i just can’t seem to interact with them face to face. sure i can pretend to but really they just pass me by…
second life allowed me to give myself a bit of a shield, to take the me that is clawing on the inside to get out, and give it a place to thrive. from the confidence i have gained in second life, as well as the friendships i have found, its given me a bit more of a push to stop hiding in my room all the time, and to stop fearing social interaction. to go out and try to exist like normal people do. thanks to second life i will have a future that consists of more than just trying to sleep though another day.
beyond my own sufferings, second life has helped a lot of people who, in their real life, may struggle with things like disabilities, being accepted for their sexual preference/interests, etc… second life gives us a chance to connect with like-minded individuals who may be miles apart but still can be beneficial to our lives both first and second. it’s brought new venues for musicians and artists, and just look at how many charities are helped by second life residents.
and seriously i think people who say “get a life” are just jealous that they don’t have one as interesting as our second one is.
Tabliopa Underwood on December 26, 2008
Was reading other day about social interaction. Was a comment from a 19yo guy who said that he finds it weird when he meets people who dont play games or have a space somewhere. He kinda thinks that theres something a bit strange about people who dont. He have a normal real life and games and spaces are just a part of that really. Which sounds about right to me.
Quaintly Tuqiri on December 26, 2008
Just yesterday I was on the phone with a friend who said that she and another friend “have considered plotting to come over and forcibly delete SL from your PC” or something like that. I was actually a little offended, especially considering she plays WoW and Warhammer and goodness knows what else!
Gahum Riptide on December 26, 2008
The worst ones, who Quaintly points out are “gamers”. I’ve got friends who play WoW more than I’m on SL (as in, spend the entire day in WoW from whent hey get up until 4 or 5 AM) who’ve said to me “SLers need to get a life!!!”. Usually they’ve logged into SL, expected the interface to be like WoW, and gave up. They also do not understand the creative aspect of it. I’m here to see and express creativity. What drew me in was the ability to build. One of them said to a friend who was having trouble getting his appearance right “You’re playing the wrong game”. Yes, if you think SL is a game where you level up and battle orcs.
Bottom line, it’s hilarious for anyone who is ON the internet to be yowling about SLers needing to “get a life”. I remember back in the 90′s there was a stigma that even being on the internet itself meant you “had no life”.
My first life blends into SL. I’ve talked to many people here through other non SL means, and I consider them the same as the friends I’ve made on the internet. Just because I log out doesn’t mean they disappear. They’re real people, and to tell me that I need to get a “real life” demeans them. I don’t play a character here. What you see in text or hear in voice is how I really am. It has not affected my real life. I work, I garden, I do all the things I did before SL and will continue to do while I’m still a part of SL
SySy on December 26, 2008
oh my my. How well written again Prad! (and wooot your RL you is preeeeettty too heeheeee)
I couldn’t agree more with you.
When i try to tell someone in RL what i actually DO in SL and what it means, they look at me like i’m a nut. I about given up trying to explain hehehe. I dare to say SL has become a part of my RL, in the sence that my creativity in SL is REAL, the people i meet are REAL, the money i earn (or pay) is REAL and so on.
Outside of Sl i have a nice partime RL job, i cook, i socialize and enjoy dancing just like i did “before SL”.
Everyone who says by being in Sl means you don’t “have a RL” simply don’t GET secondlife i think
Eve Petlyakov on December 26, 2008
*gets a little teary* awww…Gahum. That was beautiful.
I agree with you Prad. If anything SL has made my First Life better. I’m thankful I logged in all those months ago after my (now ex) boyfriend made the snotty comment, “I’m surprised you’re not playing Second Life!” To which I replied, “What’s that?”
I rezzed when he went to a New Years Eve party without me because I was getting off work at 10 and that was apparently too late to wait…and the rest is history.
Landsend Korobase on December 26, 2008
Hmmm. I know that I sometimes feel like SL is an addiction, that I know I should spend less time doing and more time in “RL”. BUT, you know what? If I’m not in the mood for RL I get shit all done there anyway and just end up watching telly or reading or fluffing round anyway, so why not spend that time in SL with real people who make me laugh and feel yay?
Thought-provoking post Praddles, and nicely expressed as always.
sparkles wingtips on December 27, 2008
Nods and nods more at this, I’m so tired of trying to explain sl to those in my rl who just don’t ‘get it’. I think I’m going to print out your piece here and shove it under their noses….
Yes thanks, I can watch tv, read a rl book, and no It does not make me wierdo for comming to sl… thanks for putting into words that I oouldn’t really express.
Tesa Jewell on December 27, 2008
Thank you so much for this article, I am so over trying to defend my SL and from now on I will just pull this up and shove the the laptop to them to read.
Eolande Elvehjem on December 28, 2008
thanks for providing a well said answer to what i’ve not been able to put words together for.
Bunny Brickworks on December 30, 2008
Thank you Prad, this one is to the point and describes what a lot of us hear every day. Get a life!
Duh, I have one, a husband, a job, a career, friends I meet, things I do. And at the end of such a day in real life I log on – my husband sitting next to me doing the same – and there’s my second life with a partner, a job, friends I meet and things I do.I feel blessed to have two lifes that are full of joy and wonderful people, creativity and success. And yes, both lifes sometimes have drama and problems. You can’t have a day without a night.
To be honest, I gave up telling people what second life means for me. Accept it as it is part of ME, if you’re not willing to accept it, go away. I don’t critisize other people’s lifes cause they work 10 hours a day, watch the news and go to bed with an occasional visit to the soccer stadium on Saturdays. If they are happy with it, it is fine with me. But I strongly refuse to take any criticism for my two lifes in return.
Francesca Balogh on December 30, 2008
You couldn’t have explained it better. I am sending a link to your post to all my friends and family who question my SL time. THANKS!!!
Mouse Mimistrobell on December 30, 2008
What a timely post for me personally. I do get a lot of grief from my family about the time I spend in SL. But the fact is that while I enjoy my first life a great deal, SL fills up a part of me that’s been empty during the time I clawed my way up the corporate ladder. I get to express myself creatively – I get to design. People are willing to pay me for my work – the amount does not matter, that’s not the point. It’s that someone likes what I did and will derive enjoyment from it. Thank you for putting into words how I feel!
Meng Deigan on December 31, 2008
“You’re not swimming *enough*. Do you have a good job? A girlfriend or wife? Kids? Responsibilities? A future? These questions need to be asked.”
Wow. You surely are making huge generalizations on what people should have and do. Define “good job.” Is that one that makes you happy? Makes you a lot of money? What if Prad happened to be gay? Then he would want neither a girlfriend nor a wife. Not everyone wants kids, as shocking as that may be to some parents, and they certainly don’t make your life complete. Who decides the proper amount of responsibilities and why is it good to have so many? Everyone has a future, time marches on until the end of your life for good or for bad. I’m assuming you mean the sort of future that ~you~ think people should have :/ What an incredibly arrogant post.
Minx on December 31, 2008
Yay! Lovely post.
One thing though; I think there are reasons some ‘non-SLifers’ make these kinds of generalizations, and that’s something not usually focused on by our ‘community’.
I love my SLife and am so happy to be a part of a world full of creative, fun, caring and special people… but I also know that there’s an element that isn’t so fun and caring. Unfortunately, it’s the ‘bad eggs’ that normally make the evening news, and the rest of us have to deal with the ‘get a life’ contingent that doesn’t know more than what they see from the media. It’s still a very real problem I think. I have no issues enjoying both my lives, and I’m grateful to have an outlet like SL to express myself, the same as I’m grateful to have opportunities in RL for the same. The negative stuff, though, comes from those who may not be able to or choose not to express themselves in a healthy, enriching way.
Just like drugs or alcohol, Second Life can be a crutch (or World of Warcraft or whatever), a wall that some people use to escape having to deal with a world they don’t like very much. These are the people a lot of non-Slifers know about, it’s all they know.
I’ve been blessed to meet so many interesting and creative people in SL, and I know that they are that way because their real lives have made them that way.
I can’t get defensive about my SL… I love it, and work hard to share its best with everyone I know. I think THAT’S the way to change minds; by continuing to make SL as close as possible to its potential. Eventually, I think the art and beauty of Second Life will outshine the darkness there.
This world and the next… « Fabulously Free in SL on January 1, 2009
[...] Fabulously Free in SL {January 1, 2009} This world and the next… “Yes, there’s an ‘Exit’ button. No, that doesn’t mean it all goes away,” Prad Prathivi. [...]