When it comes to things which stop us from creating, building, designing, taking pictures, writing blog entries, and the other countless things we do in this metaverse of ours, there are many different factors which crop up when searching for an excuse. “Real life” is the big one. A lack of time to dedicate to Second Life is a sure first candidate for neglecting this “game”.
But allow me to offer a suggestion for the evil spirit which hinders your creative prowess in the virtual world. This nasty four letter word is something we don’t like to admit, but it’s ever omnipresent at times of creative block.
And yes.. it’s the “F” word.
Fear.
Fear affects us more than we like to admit, and when you’re somebody who is known for a particular skill or talent, it feels like your essence has disappeared. Writing blogs in particular is insidious for the author, as you’re really putting yourself out there and open to criticism. I thought long and hard before I began publishing an opinion blog, as there will always be critics. I’m lucky in that my critics are either well informed and now how to argue, or are just full of pointlessly venomous and have no clue what they’re talking about.. Askimnet is the best tool for that.
But as an author of a popular blog (WordPress says so! Yay!) and a successful Second Life content creator, the fear of failure or mediocrity aren’t the only fears we harbour.
Most fear is subconscious and manifests itself as procrastination or a creative block. I’ve been trying to work on my SL photography for the past 2 months, but I’ve failed to produce anything which is emotionally evoking to me.. I know that my spark will come back, but I keep putting off my desire to produce a beautiful artwork by concentrating on other things.
But that’s not to say I regret doing other things. For a start, regret is pointless.. what’s done is done, and it’s how you deal with it that counts. I’m glad that that is something I’ve learnt at a young age because it’s enabled me to achieve a lot that I want from life (both lives) in a relatively short span of time. But there is fear, and in a way it does hold me back.
And truth be told, every time I start a new venture and set course on a new direction, I’m still afraid. I don’t think that’ll ever change though.. it’s human nature.
The key is not to let it stop you from trying.
So allow me to explore the types of fear which I think holds back us creative souls.
The Fear of Failure
Personal success is hindered by a fear of failure.. I can point to a dozen studies which will tell you that. We fear failure because we are emotionally attached to a cause, and we become the tasks required to reach success.. when your self-esteem is tied into the job at hand, we’re suffering a risk of humiliation. I, personally, hold a fear that if I fail at a new venture, people will look at me and note me only for my failure, and not my success. But then I look at it logically, and I realise that that fear is completely irrational.
I’ve already admitted to you that I’m afraid to fail. That’s a non issue. But if I do fail, I know that I’ll learn from my mistakes, and that I’ll be a better person for it. Additionally, every failure I suffer will bring me a step closer to success.
And of course, although success is the ambition, it’s not the underlying reason as to why I do something. I do it for the learning experience, and thereby the fear of humiliation just becomes an illusion.
The Fear of Rejection
In Second Life, I am my work. My builds, my clothes, my photographs, my machinima, my blog are all what represent me in the metaverse. A rejection of those are a rejection of me. Second Life is made up of millions of contributions which form the virtual world. The Internet too is made up of such contributions.
One of the biggest critics of my blog likes to personally attack me for having the audacity to write about myself. But that’s what the new digital age is about – people are sharing themselves and their ideas and thoughts, which in turn make people think about their own thoughts on the subjects, and hence turn out more ideas, which turn into concepts and productions. If nobody dared to talk, then nothing would ever get done.
You can never please everyone. I only have to find my audience and please them.. if someone doesn’t like this blog, then they don’t have to read it. More importantly, I feed on rejection and diversify myself to widen the appeal and become better and stronger at what I do.
The Fear of Mediocrity
I’m cursed with perfectionism. I admit that now – anything I do, I have to work to make sure it’s perfect, and I won’t stop until it is. And that perfectionism prevents me from just putting any old thing out for sale in my store and resolving to improve it over time. But with an approach like that, I’d never sell anything.
At the moment, I’m looking at the blog entry and thinking it’s probably not good enough to publish. And on that matter, will this entry even help anyone? Should I just quit writing, quit photography, quit everything and just concentrate on developing a single skill?
But then I close my eyes, take a deep breath and realise that I must be doing something right in all the things I do in Second Life.
Nobody will ever be perfect.. let it go and just do your best, and constantly try to improve yourself. Never be afraid to learn. Remember that action will always beat inaction, every time. And accomplishing something is always better than accomplishing nothing at all.
The Fear of Success
Here’s an interesting one.. why would we fear success in Second Life, when it’s what most people aim towards? Well aiming for this ideal can cause us to subconsciously avoid it, because we now that success brings about changes.
I’ve worried that I don’t really deserve success. I’m just another guy, after all.. there’s nothing special about me. I’ve definitely worried that my successes are raising people’s expectation of me, and at some point I’m going to reach the ceiling and not be able to do any better. Then there’s the worry that friends will resent my success and that the responsibilities that come with success will prove too overwhelming. Basically, my imagination plays tricks and tries to fool me into not trying, just so I can avoid change.
But then, change happens whether you succeed or fail.. so why not succeed? Richard Branson built up his Virgin empire in several different industries and became a power in many fields.. why not try new things and aim to be known as someone who is multi-talented? You are the work that you put in, and not the reaped rewards. I do what I love doing, and I don’t worry about the consequences.
The Fear of Risk
They say it’s better to be safe than sorry, and in some cases that is true. But in Second Life, it’s essentially a world of dreams, and being safe is essentially putting up your own gravestone. Not only do your dreams die, but you live the rest of your life wondering what could’ve been.
Society grooms us to embrace consistency, safety and familiarity, but it’s the people who dare to try something new who will take the rewards. In both lives, I’ve learnt that no matter how much you achieve, you’ll need to keep pushing yourself to try new things and running risks. May as well get used it..!
Really, just ask yourself what the worst is that could happen? So I wasted an hour and just winded up deleting a bunch of prims. Or I published controversial blog post and now some people resent me for it.. so what? And the end of the day, I can say I did something. And taking risks like that will breed my self confidence, and every time you survive, you thrive.
Look before you leap?
Nah, just jump.
Crap Mariner on December 4, 2008
The Fear Of Crashing Because Of A Memory Leak
stephen venkman on December 4, 2008
Well said and with each i’ve traveled along that road.
And in saying so…there are no mistakes, just opportunities to learning something new, different, evolutionary.
Landsend Korobase on December 4, 2008
Thank you for this post Prad. I often end up in a confused mess where I’m this confident self-assured person as a general rule, but then I end up doubting my abilities and a little voice tells me to walk away before I make a total fool of myself. In fact each of your “fears” referred to spoke to me in a way that surprised me. My fears are usually fed by looking at those better than me – I’m not as good a lecturer as that person in RL or not as good an artist as this other person in SL, and I’m just making myself look ridiculous by pretending I deserve to be in their ranks. It’s usually my husband or a very close friend who helps pull me out of those funks when they hit.
Your post has definitely given me some things to think about, very thoughftul and well written.
Bailey Longcloth on December 4, 2008
Fear is a powerful emotion. Not only can it strangle us, it can also push us to do what needs to be done.
elusyve on December 4, 2008
Well written Prad.. Fear has always been mine issue
chestnut on December 4, 2008
Excellent post. You have articulated very well things that have been on my mind a lot lately. Thank you
Natalya Homewood on December 5, 2008
Brilliant post. A lot of the things I do and most of what I avoid doing is due to fear and doubt, and this post highlights a lot of how I feel!
It’s helped me think about what I’m afraid of… and why I’m afraid.
Thankyou Praddles, very inspiring!
Ahuva Heliosense on December 5, 2008
Perfect post. I was raised to fear. Lately I’ve learned it’s when I actually turn and face my fear head on that I know (1) I am really alive (2) I am strong/capable and (3) that usually I was wrong to fear in the first place. You have a lot of company fearing that walk to the edge. Here’s hoping your words give you and us the courage to just jump.
HellSpawneD Xingjian on December 5, 2008
Fear affects us all at some point whether we admit it or not. An inspiring post mate, well thought out as always!
Eolande Elvehjem on December 7, 2008
i fear never being heard amidst all the other voices. and then i fear if i shout louder am i just annoying? LOL
very inspiring, thank you.
Breakout on December 18, 2008
[...] to thank Ahuva Heliosense for unwittingly providing inspiration and a hat-tip to Prad Prathivi for this article which also spoke volumes to me [...]
Talia Lefavre on December 27, 2008
I’m so glad you included the fear of success. For me, that and fear of failure go hand in hand. Failure can be so very public, but yes, it is 99.9% of the time the greatest teacher, and therefore is something short of failure if we learn from it. Success….now that’s so interesting. Not only because “I’m just another ordinary no-one-in-particular so why me?” but also because success generates another kind of popularity – not all of it positive or constructive. Some people thrive on adulation, but there aren’t too many real friendships in that kind of attention. But perhaps most of all, real success generates real jealousy, the kind that loves to find ways to dig under the foundations and topple the building.
). Having said that however, when I do come across those who are of a generous spirit – not envious of another’s talents, but appreciative and encouraging – I’m captivated. I suspect that my greatest success is finding a few of them in SL and Flickr and appreciating them.
The one thing that constantly amazes me, is a lack of genuine generous spirtedness – RL or SL. I’m a naive dreamer still…..I think I imagined SL would be full of generous spirits. Yeah I know, laugh out loud and long right about here. No such place as Utopia. at least not once the humans move in
‘just jump’
)) not quite there yet, but thanks for the encouragement.
sevenstar Amat on January 10, 2009
this is so f… true !
AEster Hathaway on February 18, 2009
I love this post and merely all points I feel related to ………….heads of to her shrink.